Lyrics / Liner Notes

The Panic Bell
(undertow music)

February 2007

Forgiven Now
(undertow music)

Surrounded By The Sound (Dawson/Thobe)
please please don't explain it I don’t think I could take it I have my own theory made and I'd like to keep my mind half in the shade and please please don't remind me I fixed it so no one could find me I had the features pulled from my face and step by step I've joined in a coward's parade and I wanna be surrounded by the sound surrounded 'til I drown now I'm turning the music up too loud could never be loud enough you say you have a penny for my thoughts I'd pay 100 dollars to just keep my mouth shut and I wanna be surrounded by the sound surrounded 'til I drown

Trying To Live Up (Dawson)
nowhere in this heart of mine can I find ill will toward you and I have looked both long and hard for the words to bully up the truth it always comes back to you right back down to
you trouble was your mother’s milk her bible belt busted in two your brother tall and desperate a surrogate to drive the blame into you to drive it all back to you right back down to you the windshield cracked up by your head a spider web the neighbors gathered around pulled that car up by the house a man in boots kicked that windshield out kicking it all back to you right back down to you a red steak and a Canadian Club America loves a lighthearted drunk in the rain down on one knee tragically trying to live up.

Forgiven Now (Dawson)
all those words have crashed back down like handfuls of stones they are all forgiven now forgiven forgiven they are forgiven now bone white faces I recall barking out advice they are all forgiven now forgiven now though the shadow stays I fell on the floor I cursed your name forgiven now though the shadow stays I fall on the floor I call your name promises like rushing blood pounding in my chest they are all forgiven now forgiven forgiven they are forgiven now.

The Lotus Hour (Christiansen/ Balletto)
this is the lotus hour it's time for us to leave float above working class houses and blossoming trees this is the lotus hour we are refugees from all the plans bed one more time our pink peony this is the lotus hour we are refugees slowly floating home weightless and free evaporating up here my arms around your knees the pure land blue and grey as far as we can see this is the lotus hour we are refugees from all the plans we made and all catastrophes this is the lotus hour we are refugees slowly floating home weightless and free.

Overwhelming (Dawson)
so Jesus came without warning right over your bed and hovered like a flower in the coldest hour of the morning wiping your lips clean dusting off your good dreams there were moments of overwhelming chance and there were moments of overwhelming grace alive alive in your voice your skin had become a costume and not even your eyes could spark the past but we all knew that we’d lost you when you dropped your keys to catch your breath but there were moments of overwhelming chance and there were moments of overwhelming grace alive alive in your voice electric music all around you like a swarm of bees raised in a white spotlight your head to your knees and no one could doubt you no one dare doubt you no one could doubt you doubt you now you arrived and you ignored us the quiet sisters couldn’t hide their anger makes no difference what you say to us there is no good there is no evil but there are moments of overwhelming chance and there are moments of overwhelming grace alive alive.

Wish I Was Here
In your lose whatever doesn’t matter take only what you need drop one small bag in the backseat leave the camera where its lying the mascara you won’t need you’ve got eyes if you need to see wish I were here to see things moving into place wish I were here the light reflecting on your face wish I were here keys and money make you helpless drop them from the moving car a wadded list and pills bouncing on the tar if you think we need a compass use our foreheads without words a bag and purse left on the curb wish I were here lose whatever now the bills and fights unanswered calls papers worries and the weight now cause yourself to wake wish I were here

There’s A Magic (Dawson)
there’s a magic every time you walk on past time goes twice as fast and I’m frozen in my tracks and it’s tragic that I never seem to tell the things you do so well something holds me back but I made a promise to you so many years ago and now it’s the rock where I lay my head oh there’s a magic that you have deep inside trouble can’t deny and it’s keeping me alive there’s a magic

Time For Me To Leave (Dawson)
wipe that grin off your face there’s something I gotta say and it’s taken everything I got to come here and say it you can punch me in the mouth you can curse my name out loud but you won’t ever get me to regret it I’ve been keeping my mouth shut I’ve been folding my hands up I have more comic relief so batten down your petty grief because picking you up has left me all in pieces and every scheme that you half-bake is stuck together with duct tape and you’re paralyzed when you think someone will notice I’ve been keeping my mouth shut I’ve been folding my hands up I have stood by you like no one can believe but I think the time has come for me to leave leave you here among your boxes and your stacks of quarters leave you here with the filthy jokes about your daughter tomorrow you’ll dive passionlessly back into mediocrity then you’ll mope around ‘til some fool calls you a genius I’ve been keeping my mouth shut I’ve been folding my hands up I have stood by you like no one can believe but I think the time has come for me to leave

Disappear (Dawson)
if you had a brain in your head this is what you’d do you would drop everything and you’d run just as far as your legs would carry you there is really nothing for you here you’d be wise if you would just disappear disappear like water disappear like the years disappear like a father with his hands on the wheel you always said you had the tougher skin but baby look at you now things I said have collapsed you from within and baby who is tougher now let me be perfectly clear you really oughta just disappear disappear like a memory disappear into the air disappear like your dignity falling down the stairs disappear like water disappear like the years disappear like a father with his hands on the wheel disappear like a family that was never really there

1000 Men Like Cigarettes (Christiansen)
like you clowndog of perpetual sadness get up and change the sheets how did you get relieved of all those years forgiven you find yourself here 1000 men like cigarettes put out side to side I only meant to quit it long enough to catch my stride you’ve never had a fat girl before some voice from a well-made bed in time you’ll be extinguished with the others snuffed head to head to head I could’ve sworn I wouldn’t stay for more than just a year but miles of sad arms must have led me here

Meant To Be (Dawson)
sometimes the past comes back too clear and I can see every step that walked me here time has cured the startle of the burn but my eyes fill with tears every time these thoughts return but maybe it all was meant to be maybe I stay on purpose you see your arms they have embraced me like no one did before I glide right through your door and you welcome me as if it was all meant to be luck has some kind of desperate hold if you believe in all the things you’re told years rush by like windows on a train and when I forget god help me to remain

LINER NOTES:
Michael Bradburn - electric and standup bass, vocals
Stephen Dawson - vocals, acoustic guitar, piano, mandolin, lap steel, organ
Matt Thobe - drums, percussion, piano, vibraphone, vocals, organ
Diane Christiansen - vocals, acoustic guitar
Mark Balletto - electric and acoustic guitars, vocals, vibraphone

special guest stars:
Al Perkins - pedal steel ("The Lotus Hour" and "There's A Magic") Brad "SB" Jones - harmonium ("Overwhelming"), keyboards ("Meant To Be") Floyd "Armitage" Shanks - piano solo ("There's A Magic") Ol' Pappy - tablas ("Lotus Hour")

produced by Brad Jones | recorded by Brad Jones and Eli Shaw at Alex the Great, Nashville, TN | mixed by Brad Jones | mastered by Professor Emily Lazar at The Lodge, NYC

cover painting by Diane Christiansen, Swimmers and misc. art by Andrea Schumacher , band portraits by Mrs. Hippopotomus. Package design elements by grady highberry, andrea schumacher, mark ray, sideburns mcgee.

Thank you could never be enough: Scott Balletto, Bob Andrews, Brad Jones, Eli Shaw, Meggean Ward, Claire Hudson, Ian Brown, Paul Seff, Jonathan Palmer and all at Bug Music, Mark, Steve, Adam & everyone at Undertow, Cattails in Whicker Park Richard Milne, Patti Abraham Thobe, Krista Varsbergs Bradburn, Eva Dawson, Jason and Carrie, Lisa Shivley, Emily Lazar, Michel Pampelune, Clive Hudson and Lynn Russell, Phyl and Ken, Urban and Anne, Ruth and John

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The Dumbest Magnets
(evil teen records)

Apple Doll (Dawson)
turn on the lights it's time to leave the car is parked in the rotary cover your eyes repeat after me your child is still asleep in the hall her dreams have lit up the interstate wall in the rear-view mirror now you're an apple doll this motel is celebrating age the parking lot wind smells like sage your headlights shoot out into the desert like rage the radio finally hits its stride the sun comes up in a hundred miles you'll lay your hands down at your sides... mandoguitar: Mark / marimba: Matt / glockenspiel: Steve 6-string tremolo bass: Mike

The Thing You Love is Killing You (Dawson)
I see your face all is not well you try to hide it away but it's easy to tell you stick to your guns even though you know it's true the thing you love is killing you when you were a kid inspiration called slowly you've narrowed it down to a desk and a wall you pour out your soul to a world who's indifference is spelled out for you the thing you love is killing you the thing you love won't let you sleep your house out of order and your resistance weak and what could you offer with such desperate eyes? you try to recover a year at a time and when it's all over what conclusion do you come to? the thing you love is killing you hammond organ: Brad 'SB' Jones

The Dumbest Magnets (Dawson/Christiansen)
your nervous laughter is contagious my will has broken down in stages we've scraped the bottom of the block together confusing tears won't stain our eyes forever the choir turned in our direction we laid down all expectations the room all lit from the outside Indian Summer the high notes circling your head forever the dumbest magnets hold together there are more questions than answers forever give in believe for better my skin is shared mellotron: Matt

Second Chance (Dawson)
I did not hear a word you said it's mind over matter now everyone I know thinks it's a joke a second chance comes around second chance... when I first met you your eyes were dry these walls only help to remind me it's once down the stairs, twice on your back, the bruises laid out in a line a second chance... open your eyes I did not hear a word you said it's mind over matter now piano: Matt

Progress Note (Christiansen)
put down that rave review it's bad for you, it's bad for you everything has a purpose like misery it causes you to plumb the depths pearl diving coming down at breakneck speed to where you really ought to be your voice like a foghorn has only led to swallowing your tongue a thousand leaks in the ocean is it a precious gem or just a wad of gum? coming down at breakneck speed to where you really ought to be everything has a purpose like misery it causes you to plumb the depths pearl diving baritone guitar: Mark / acoustic guitar: Diane / electric piano & slide guitar: Steve / voice: Matt

I Come to You (Dawson)
with my head a big balloon heading straight into the sun I come to you ah .....I come to you all the clouds along the lake will be the outlines of your face I come to you ah.....I come to you and when my chest is open wide you could pull yourself inside I will come to you ah....I will come to you

Balcony (Dawson)
now there are sisters and there are miracles and there is proof that nothing lasts and there was a cold front there was a balcony there are pictures from the past you were a string-bean you were a beaten rug a cigarette in the hand and right through that screen door there was a concrete face showing slides of the Grand Coulee Dam can't you smell the ashtrays can't you smell the cheap perfume the beers in giant cans and every Sunday before the air-raid bells your mama's nervous laugh.... it is a secret one I will never tell it is stuck beneath my tongue how we were drawn there up to that balcony as dumb as we were young just like a fountain just like a waterfall you waited underneath don't tell the neighbors for crying out loud till the ambulance is on our street now there are sisters and there are miracles there is proof that nothing lasts there was a cold front there was a balcony there are pictures from the past but not one word now eyes to the ground the past has been replaced no, not one word now don't make a sound never one to complain mandolin: Brad Jones

Be a Part (Dawson)
I drank your sour wine I held my breath until you leaned into my arms with all the windows black and then on our backs I never cried like that my arms around your neck what could you really say? I tried saying 'yes' I did your dance for rain I've been a bastard guest now I'm gonna change these empty compliments were all that I had left I never cried like that what could you really say? shouldn't I be shouldn't I be a part shouldn't I be a part of your perfect life? handclaps: Los Manos Calientes del Vardenos / organ: Steve / begging in the background: Matt & Steve

Along for the Ride (Dawson)
I've been along for the ride but now I am jumping in right down the hill we will slide isn't it rich the way the blood goes thin? this is the last mistake I will ever make I've been along for the laughs but the jokes made my conscience ill look at the photographsthat's me choking down a pill this is the last request I will swallow all the rest you don't know what you're doing the bar's too low for me you don't know it's the part where you wake up just before you scream what is the blue under your wrist everytime your hand hangs low I've been amused by it but I'm not sure I want to know all of the straws have been drawn it's time to open up your palm.... omnichord: itself / e-bow choir: Mark / lap steel & harmonium: Steve

Too Good to Believe (Dawson)
give me some bad news so I will feel at home and I'll wrap myself around it I'll pass it along give me some cold facts put my mind at ease cause what I'm feeling right now is too good to believe it's too, too good to believe that you are here right now with me and if I die tomorrow that'd be alright with me I've gotta keep myself ready for the lights to come back on for someone to shake me and tell me "you been sleeping too long" it's too, too good to believe that you are here right now with me and if I die tomorrow... hammond organ & harmonium: Steve / mandolin: Mark

Some Sequined Angel (Christiansen/Dawson)
some sequined angel comes out to adjust your knobs shagging for the Devil man, you really look lost there's always room on your block for another hearse crawl in from the green room to the arms of your wet-nurse the talking cure props you up to look your best once on your feet all roads lead to the medicine chest some sequined angel comes out to adjust your knobs shagging for the Devil man, you really look lost mellotron: Matt / bottleneck guitar: Steve

Simple Pleasure (Dawson)
there'll be no fanfare to begin it's back down to simple pleasure again the well-laid plan has worn thin it's time to put it down courage comes and courage goes till somebody takes a hand and slaps some sense in me right now my chest is gonna explode if I don't put it down and get back to the simple pleasure the simple reasons again and all the unspoken hours side by side with you, my friends it's simple pleasure again mistakes can all be justified you'd think by now I'd give in you'll never know how hard I've tried but I just can't put it down it's the simple pleasure the simple reasons again and all the unspoken hours side by side with you, my friend it's simple pleasure again electric piano: Steve / lap steel: Mark

Produced, recorded and mixed by Brad Jones at Alex the Great, Nashville, TN April 6 to 16, 1999. Mastered by Professor Emily Lazar at EBL, New York

Dolly Varden is: Mark Balletto-electric guitars / Mike Bradburn-bass guitar / Diane Christiansen-lead vocals /Stephen Dawson-lead vocals & acoustic guitars / Matt Thobe-drums & percussion

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The Thrill of Gravity
(evil teen records)

California Zephyr
threw out the couch cleaned off the windows shaved down the door to last through the winter pulled up the floorboards early that morning later that evening hammered Œem down the gifts were all numbered and placed in an order with our favorite pictures arranged in a row the phone kept on ringing but we never did answer and the record we played was california zephyr that train ran all night right past four in the morning the conductor kept bragging he knew everyone’s name I stayed up all night watching for my father waving his hands as we crossed the wild west I thought that conductor thought we were all the same person and the folks in Shoshone would not understand so I crossed both my fingers and I pulled down a pillow and the song in my head was california zephyr written by Steve Dawson and Brian Dunn ©whisk head music/songs of polygram inc., bmi.

First Class Blackout
now the future slams right into the past with the outline of your shoe across my back hello freedom at last it was a one-knock knock down I would’ve liked to congratulate it was a first class blackout and I will not be back I will not be back all you buzzards hiding behind the rocks watching my eyes for signs I’m getting soft it’s my gain your loss it was a one-knock knock down I would’ve liked to congratulate it was a first class blackout and I will not be back I will not be back it’s time to get this shack in order it’s been too long I thought that things would fall together but I was wrong I was wrong when every handshake sticks together like glue something tells me it’s too good to be true every time I look at you it was a one-knock knock down I would’ve liked to congratulate it was a first class blackout and I will not be back I will not be back written by Steve Dawson ©is this the best use of our time music co.bmi.

Lucky 23
did you see him solid chocolate messenger boy creeping belt between his teeth while I was sleeping and dreaming lucky 23 jump into the V you have arrived did you see him in some film about a war he’s running up the hill with a bunch of boys all bleeding he’s bleeding lucky 23 jump into the V you have arrived written by Diane Christiansen and Steve Dawson ©is this the best use of our time music co.bmi.

The Old In And Out
in and out again for the last time cover the black with an outline ignore the cracks in your even keel you’ll never know how unsure it can feel ah... we fooled Œem Œtill they got wiser then the truth set in like cancer at their feet we crumbled explanations were mumbled ah... in and out again for the last time down the back stairs we will climb ignore the cracks in the new wood salt the bread and turn west for good ah... written by Steve Dawson ©is this the best use of our time music co.bmi.

All I Deserve
for my new year’s resolution I’m gonna try something new I’m gonna start drinking until I can hardly see then I’m coming home to you if I pass out on your stairs if I shatter your last nerve will you give me a second chance or will I get all I deserve will I get all I deserve when I finally let you down when your faith in me is broken and the devils gather round when the questions you are asking start sounding more and more absurd when I finally let you down will I get all I deserve you have got the angel’s wings sometimes that’s all I can see and the things that keep me walking the line they become my enemy written by Steve Dawson ©whisk head music/songs of polygram inc.’int’l’bmi.

Dangerously Thin
you put a match to the floor you didn’t need it anymore now your desperate lottery of keys leads you stumbling to my door it was out with the old but you’re right back again under this light you look dangerously thin dangerously thin couldn’t the crippled be more graceful when the sun is in their eyes I was wet nurse to a miracle what I’d give now just to sympathize it was out with the old but you’re right back again under this light you look dangerously thin dangerously thin opportunity doesn’t fall get your ear away from my wall it comes like a cemetery flood it leaves without even a whisper of blood it was out with the old but you’re right back again under this light you look dangerously thin dangerously thin written by Steve Dawson and Diane Christiansen ©is this the best use of our time music co.’bmi.

Sunflower Drag
hey’ mr. spickard please let us go the load we’ve been through you couldn’t know we did the hustle in your vacant field now I’ve got my seatbelt on I’m behind the wheel sunflower drag we lost our signal driving dumb and blind we ripped the bottom out jettisoned our minds we scraped the stubble in your empty field now I’ve got my seatbelt on don’t make me squeal sunflower drag we won’t sob and sag we’re gonna make that flower drag us through written by Diane Christiansen’ Steve Dawson’ and Matt Thobe ©is this the best use of our time music co.’bmi.

the good life
too, too fast this matchbox spins right through your fingers I fell in your faith wasted and look at me wrapped all around you uselessly when the stars come out and you come in with all the loses rushing back again whisper, baby I can’t hear I’ve still got ringing in both my ears the worst questions are pushing me doubling over anxiously yeah that’s my own voice unraveling and’ yeah’ it’s getting to be so humbling aint it a good’ good life aren’t these the open hands with all the things you love don’t ignore them idiot circles’ idiot plans the deeper meaning I understand now there’s pictures on the wall our life together I recall when the waters pull us under these quiet faces will lead us back here this is the good’ good life these are the open hands with all the things you love don’t ignore them written by Steve Dawson and Diane Christiansen ©is this the best use of our time music co.’bmi.

I Can’t Wait Anymore
now that you’ve told all that I’m not there must be something that I get I stuffed my questions in your slot now I’m stranded in your kitchenette and I can’t wait anymore and I’m gonna knock down your door and lay myself down on your floor cause I can’t wait anymore anymore how can you be so polite when I need something I can sink my teeth into? I’ve been staying up all night cutting up these tiny pictures of you and I can’t wait anymore and I’m gonna knock down your door and lay myself down on your floor cause I can’t wait anymore anymore isn’t it pity that I just won’t take no? I’ve been waiting patiently ask my friends they’ll tell you so but I can’t wait anymore and I can’t wait anymore and I’m gonna knock down your door and lay myself down on your floor cause I can’t wait anymore anymore written by Steve Dawson ©whisk head music/songs of polygram inc.’int’l’bmi.

The Wheels Have Left The Road
no more comedy put your head back in my lap it’s not that you’re not funny it’s that I can’t stand the way you laugh and if you listen close maybe you can hear what I’m thinking it’s not just a remedy it’s almost a revelation and if you need something to keep your eyes on then watch the blacktop waving on the horizon look out below the wheels have left the road didn’t you notice’ baby? didn’t you know? I’ve seen you wake up screaming I’ve seen you shaken up for days I’ve felt my blood run cold when strangers were grinning in your face but you’re beside my now and we’re belted in safely we can live for the moment now while we wait for the thrill of gravity and if you need something to keep your eyes on then watch the blacktop waving on the horizon look out below the wheels have left the road didn’t you notice’ baby? didn’t you know? written by Steve Dawson ©is this the best use of our time music co.’bmi

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Mouthful of Lies
(mid-fi records)

so many words... so little time